A Mother's Journey Through Heartache, Healing, and Unconditional Love
In this powerful episode of Looking Beneath the Surface, hosts Tara Hilliard and Monique Cooley welcome a very special guest, Lisa Carter. Lisa works for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services and oversees the ERDD section, which focuses on eliminating racial disparity and disproportionality in children and family services. In addition, she is a domestic violence instructor, an effective parenting coach, a devoted mother of five, and a woman of God. Today, Lisa courageously shares her personal story to raise awareness about the dangers of exploitation and to encourage other parents to protect their children from similar experiences.
A Light in the Darkness: Celebrating a Daughter’s Unique Gifts
Lisa begins by introducing her daughter—a beacon of hope and resilience in the midst of hardship. Describing her daughter as a light in darkness, Lisa explains that her daughter is nurturing, self-motivated, and talented. A natural instructor with a passion for art, she even self-taught hair styling techniques and excels at creative pursuits like choreographing flag dances and praise dancing. Most importantly, she loves the Lord and carries her faith as her first love. This portrait of a bright, loving young woman sets the stage for the heart-wrenching challenges that follow.
The Path to Exploitation: How Influence and Isolation Took Hold
Despite a home filled with care and constant supervision—screen time limits, protective measures, and active parental involvement—Lisa recounts how her daughter began seeking validation from outside sources. Men visiting her school would tell the young girl how beautiful she was, and despite receiving plenty of affirmations at home, she craved that external validation. Over time, this need led her to become overly compliant and even secretive. Lisa noticed red flags, such as her daughter turning in her phone at an unusually early hour. Unbeknownst to the family, her daughter had acquired her own phone to communicate privately with an older man who was grooming her.
Lisa explains that what initially seemed like normal teenage behavior—compliance and diligence—later revealed a darker reality. New devices connecting to the family Wi-Fi, unexplained changes in clothing (revealed when Lisa found bags filled with salacious outfits), and subtle shifts in her daughter’s routine all pointed to something amiss. The seemingly harmless interactions and social media activity gradually opened a rabbit hole that would change their lives forever.
The Unraveling: Discovery, Loss, and the Desperate Search
The turning point came one day when Lisa discovered the hidden phone. When she confronted her daughter and opened the device, she was devastated by what she saw: photos, videos, and messages that laid bare her daughter’s secret involvement with the older man. Overwhelmed with grief, Lisa wept openly. Her daughter, overcome with fear and remorse, repeatedly apologized and agreed to dispose of the phone. However, it soon became clear that this was only the beginning of a much deeper problem.
Not long after, the daughter began missing school and failed to pick up her younger sibling from an after-school program. That day marked the beginning of a harrowing period of uncertainty. Lisa described the unbearable anxiety of searching for her daughter—driving past familiar neighborhoods, shouting her name, and putting up flyers, all while law enforcement's follow-through fell short. The daughter was eventually found at school, taking her PSATs, but the relief was short-lived. Soon after, she ran away again, and Lisa was forced to grapple with the reality of a missing child, all while balancing the responsibilities of caring for her other four children.
The Cycle of Fear, Grooming, and Coercion
Lisa recounts how her daughter became entangled in a cycle of grooming, fear, and manipulation. The older man—who maintained strict control over her communications through demanding messages and coercive tactics—had introduced another figure into the mix: a younger man who eventually became her boyfriend. This manipulation created a complex dynamic of dependency where her daughter, despite knowing deep down that she was being exploited, felt compelled to remain with them for safety, acceptance, and even love. The daughter’s struggle was compounded by the lack of a safe, understanding space where she could share her pain without judgment.
The Role of Faith and Unwavering Parental Love
Throughout this tumultuous journey, Lisa’s unwavering faith and reliance on prayer were her anchors. In her darkest moments—when sleepless nights and constant worry threatened to overwhelm her—Lisa turned to God. She shares how, after relinquishing her burden in prayer, she finally received a phone call that would change everything. Her daughter reached out to her son, a small but powerful sign that she was still connected to her family.
In a heartwarming twist, after months of uncertainty, Lisa’s daughter returned home pregnant. Despite the ongoing challenges and the pain of knowing what she had endured, Lisa embraced her daughter with unconditional love. Instead of judgment, she asked, "What do you need from me?" Together, they set new goals: graduating high school, attending prom, ensuring a safe delivery, and planning for college. With the help of community support, including an Amazon wishlist that allowed friends and family to contribute for her baby, her daughter was able to rebuild her life—graduating early, securing a college placement with a daycare on campus, and eventually expressing gratitude for her mother’s steadfast support.
Lessons for Parents: Vigilance, Communication, and Self-Care
Lisa’s testimony is not only a personal account of heartache but also a call to action for parents everywhere. Here are some key lessons she shares:
- Stay Involved: Monitor your children’s digital lives by understanding the social media platforms they use. Keep an eye on friend lists and settings, and remain an active participant in their online world.
- Look for Subtle Signs: Changes in behavior, such as the sudden appearance of new devices, unexplained clothing purchases, or abrupt shifts in routine, can be red flags that warrant closer attention.
- Open Communication: Foster an environment where your children feel safe to share their experiences without fear of judgment. Let them know that your love is unconditional.
- Self-Care is Crucial: As a parent, you cannot help others if you are not well. Therapy, self-care, and ensuring your own emotional well-being are essential in navigating these crises.
- Prayer and Faith: For those who are spiritual, maintaining a strong prayer life or finding a prayer partner can provide comfort and strength during challenging times.
Moving Forward: A Message of Hope and Unconditional Love
In closing, Lisa reminds all parents that while circumstances may sometimes be overwhelming, unconditional love and steadfast faith can pave the way for healing and transformation. Her final message to viewers is clear:
Prayer changes everything. Trust that God is working in your child's life and in your own. Keep a vigilant, loving presence in your home, and remember that if you have done all you can, there is peace in knowing you have given your best.
As the episode wraps up, the hosts leave us with a powerful call to action: Shine a light and change your life. Be blessed, and never give up hope.
This heartfelt testimony stands as a reminder that even in the midst of profound pain and uncertainty, love endures, healing is possible, and every child is worthy of being cherished.
